Stupid Things

This happened to me a few weeks ago, and I have no clue why I'm sharing it with you other than to demonstrate that we all have magical moments of complete idiocy at some point in our lives (some more than others). I will preface this by saying I was in a huge rush to get to work, so I wasn't exactly focused. ;)

I had become engrossed in something online and completely lost track of the time. Suddenly, I realized I was going to be late for work if I didn't head out the door...and fast! I quickly put on some clean clothes and brushed my teeth, then performed my usual pre-work check. I went through my pockets to make sure I had everything before running out the door.

Cigarettes...lighter....watch....ring...wallet...keys - all good, time to roll!

I opened the car door with the usual push of a button on my keyring. I don't think I've ever used an actual key to get into my car, and at this point it would probably just seem "weird" to do so. A blast of heat slammed into my face as I climbed inside while letting out a customary gasp, as to indicate to anyone watching the extreme level of "hotness" I had just encountered.

I quickly turned the key in the ignition. The engine sprung to life and I immediately turned the A/C to full, letting out another gasp as a warm blast of air hit me again from the idle A/C. I noticed a familiar, yellow icon pop up beside my speedometer and various other meters displayed in the console for my vehicle. Great, I was sitting on empty. Luckily there was a gas station close by, but I was sorely pressed for time so I better hit it quick. I threw the car in reverse, backed up and sped off through the parking lot to my next desintation.

Within a minute I had arrived at the gas station. I popped the cover for the fuel intake from inside the car and hopped out while reaching for my wallet. I shoved my credit card into the reader directly on the pump and waited for the authorization prompt. Once it flashed on the screen I started pumping gas from the hose I had already grabbed and held at the ready for my fuel tank.

Seconds later a few thoughts bounced around my head.

Hmmmm. Why is it this nozzle does not seem to fit? It seems like gas is going to splash all over the place. That's sort of a different smell. That's weird. Wait...am I pumping gas?

Broken by an audible "Oh, SHIT!!!"

I suddenly realized that I had just force-pumped about 2 gallons of Diesel fuel into my car. Don't try and rationalize how I could have made such a blunder, as I still can't figure it out myself. Perhaps the green handle or the glaring fact that the nozzle didn't remotely fit my tank should have been dead giveaways, but stubborness and lack of focus were the rulers here today.

I immediately stopped pumping Diesel fuel and began cursing my own stupidity. After verbally slapping myself around for a few moments I reached for the "real" Unleaded hose and finished putting gas in my car. I sped off again for work, barely making it on time.

The real torment began when I mistakenly told my girlfriend what I had done. She had worked on jet engines in the Navy and understands mechanical elements far better than I do. She probably enjoyed all this a little more than I was comfortable with, as I rarely make such bold mistakes (or admit to them). She relished the thought of me "screwing up" so much that she felt the need to contact her family and share the experience with them.

Needless to say, it was a dreary couple of days for me being poked fun at. I also had to keep my gas tank full (with Unleaded) and octane boosters over the next few weeks to help dilute the small amount of Diesel until it had made its way out of my engine.

So next time you're at the gas station, remember if the nozzle doesn't fit then it probably isn't supposed to go there and pay close attention to the handle colors because "Green does NOT mean go!"